Chapter 1, part 2

"Th-the hell..?" I whispered to myself at last, in disbelief. Seconds had passed, minutes, even, but I hadn't moved a millimetre, and neither had Theresa. A few more minutes ticked away before she finally spoke. I could hear her over the COM, voice trembling, and it was obvious that she was doing her best to suppress it, "Ryder..? You ok in there..?" She took a wary step towards me, eyes fixed on the blades, her whole figure ready to run at the first sign of trouble. It took me a while to realize what she was saying, to make out the words she spoke, but when I finally got to my senses, I replied with a small "Y-yeah, I'm fine, I just, um.. I think I should get out of this thing. Would.. would you park it for me?"



Without waiting for a reply, I withdrew my hands from the controls, fingers searching frantically for the button that would open what now felt like a prison, a small box of metal. I found it, but pushing it was harder than I wanted it to be at the moment, for my hands were trembling a bit too much. The front opened up with a small hiss, and I darted out, stumbling as my feet connected with the floor, backing away. I let my fingers brush through my hair, replaying the scene in my head. Or I tried to, at least, but my mind was reluctant.


While I had been busy thinking about what had happened, Theresa had approached me silently, having placed a careful hand on my shoulder. "You sure you're ok?" My focus snapped back at her, staring into her eyes for a few brief moments. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. I just let my mind drift, is all. Don't worry about it." There was a long moment of silence, as if she was analyzing my mind with her eyes, drawing her own conclusions. "This ain't about that dream of yours, is it?" Was it? No, dreams and nightmares never pursued people into the waking world, into the light. "I told you; I just spaced out, T." I said, almost snapping back at her, adding a tone of irritation to my voice. "People who space out don't draw their weapons upon seein' friends, Ryder. Something's up, and you better bloody tell me and cut this bullshit." I flinched. I could tell she had noticed, because she pressed on, knowing she was onto something. Her voice was relaxed, yet stern, her gaze locking with my own. "Somethin' happened back there, something that caused you to turn around, and something that took you by 'nuff of a surprise to cause you to eject your wrist blades. I'm not an idiot, Ryder. I can tell when someone is bullshittin' me, and you are doing it, right to my face, right now."


"Like I said, T, I just-.." I was stopped dead in my tracks. "Cut the BS, or you'll be searching for a new mechanic later today." Boom. Headshot. "Just tell me, Ryder. No aid will come to someone who doesn't wish for it, mate. I'll listen. And I won't laugh. Promise." I soon surrendered without much further resistance, and we soon found someplace to sit. After that, I told her about my dream, in detail, as well as about my encounter with our leader. I also presented my own poorly constructed theories and fears, that he was haunting me because I hadn't pulled the trigger that day in the past. I also assured her that it wouldn't hinder me out in the field. Needless to say, I believed in the supernatural. In fact, I believed more than I'd thought I did. Suppose things sort of change after firsthand experience..


"Geez..I wish I could provide you wish somethin' more useful, mate, you know I do, but T ain't no exorcist, and nor is she an expert when it comes to the supernatural. Hell, if I'd known this went deeper than just that dream, I'd have told you this at once. But.. know that I'm always here if ya need someone to talk to, alright? Helpful or not, I guess." I replied with a small nod, obviously relieved over having such an information dump. "Yeah." I said, finally a small smile on my face. "Thanks." Figuring it was soon officially morning in the rebel society, we parted ways shortly after our little talk, which had proven to be a bit lengthier than first expected. Thirty minutes longer, to be precise. She returned to parking my APU, while I made my way back to my room to get dressed for the meeting with the second in command. She had chosen to keep her rank as second in command, from what I'd heard, as she had thought taking over as 'leader' would be disrespectful towards Lockwell. I had met her plenty of times, although mostly during briefings, very much like the one I was going to in a matter of minutes. From what I had experienced, she rarely hesitated with sending people on suicide missions, if it was for the good for the rebellion and would further its cause, that is. I had a feelings this mission would be one of those.


What I – after a bit of thinking – had come to accept as Lockwell's ghost didn't stand in my room, waiting for me as I opened the door. The only thing that awaited my return was darkness and silence, along with the feeling of being 'home' again. I didn't waste any more time thinking about what I'd seen. Instead, I quickly found some better clothing than what I was currently wearing, and got dressed. In what in the low lighting of my room looked like a gray jacket with a t-shirt of the same colour. I strapped a belt around my waist, and holstered my sidearm – which I always hid under my pillow - in it. Stopping for a moment to check whether or not I had forgotten something before exiting my room, I looked back at my room. Still nothing but darkness and silence. Good. As I continued walking, I hoped it would stay like that.
The hallway had gotten a bit more crowded since I first walked out of my room that day. People were talking and laughing, wishing each other good luck for when they were going out on a raid and saying they better come back alive. When they saw me, however.. "Oh look, it's the man of the hour!" Someone said, sounding glad he wasn't me. I pushed ahead, figuring it would be best to just get to the briefing sooner rather than later. Besides, I wasn't very interested in talking with whoever it was at the moment. "Best of luck on whatever it is you're going out to do, mate!" I raised my hand and gave him a quick thumbs-up over my head after I'd passed the source of the voice. People still looked at me as I walked by, but paid no further attention to me. Instead, they let me through on my way to the briefing room where I knew the second in command would be waiting for me.


The walk to the briefing room took far less time than expected. Two guards were waiting for me by the entrance, each wearing light body armour and armed with a compact rifle. "She's waiting for you inside." One of them said simply before opening the door for me, allowing me to step through. I gave him a slight nod with my head and was about to enter when the other guard placed a hand on my shoulder and whispered, his words barely audible, "Careful, mate. She isn't in the best of moods this morning. Just a word of advice." My eyes found his, and I knew he wasn't joking. "Alright" I mouthed back before finally entering the room, being greeted by two men and a woman, in addition to the second in command. At that point and time, I had forgotten her name.


"Lewin, it's about bloody time." She barked, standing in front of the small group, arms crossed over her chest. "My scouts are telling me that that dog of an emperor just launched a smaller attack on the North tunnel. Their ETA is twenty minutes. I'm sending the four of you out to aid our defences in the North tunnel, as they are still recovering from the last attack, and after those bastards' attack had been successfully fended off, you will proceed with making your way into New Exodus where you will meet up with a platoon I dispatched earlier today before causing some havoc. What you do is completely up to the four of you, just make sure it stings." While she spoke, I couldn't help but glance at the group standing beside me. I had fought with them all before, but I only knew one of them well enough to call him my friend. His name was Jonathan, and he was a sniper. He was a red-haired, green-eyed, twenty-something year-old man who preferred to remain silent instead of saying something unnecessary. Despite this, I had still talked to him enough to get to know him. As for the others, I knew little about them.


As soon as she stopped talking, all four of us gave a crisp salute before walking out without a word. I was eager to get back into the field, there was no doubt, but what had happened back there still haunted my mind. "You and Jonathan can get there the fastest, right?" The girl in my group said once we'd exited the room and had the door closed behind us. The guards paid us no mind this time, as if we would have given them any attention at that point anyway. "I suggest the two of you head up North first, while Adrian and I get ready. We won't be more than a couple of minutes behind you. Promise." Jonathan and I shot each other a quick glance, eyes meeting, and it would seem as though a brief, telepathic conversation took place, discussing our thoughts on the matter before we nodding our heads in agreement. "It's settled, then." She continued with a small smile, "We'll see you in the North tunnel. Don't get killed while we're away, you hear?" We said our temporary goodbyes, before heading our separate ways, to different hangars.


Knowing Jonathan, he would be packing a heavy sniper rifle, an extremely high-powered rifle made from various scavenged weapons myself and others had found while out in the heat of battle. From what I knew, it was nearly four meters in length, semi-automatic, and needed about twenty seconds to charge up energy before firing, as well as ten seconds to allow the weapon to cool down between the shots. "Just make sure you let us know before firing off that thing, alright?" I gave him a small pat on the back, adding with a laughing tone, "Don't worry, you won't have to talk and use words like the rest of us. A simple beep would suffice." The only sort of response I received was the briefest of nods, followed by a low "Beep.", probably letting me know that he had heard me, and – hopefully – that he understood the fact that I was joking.


After this little.. 'conversation' of sorts, the remainder of our walk was engulfed by silence. Jonathan wasn't the most talkative of people, and my mind soon went back to the events earlier in the day. Why had he appeared? Was he even real? Was the Jason Lockwell I had seen the real Jason Lockwell? He seemed real enough, that's for sure. But how could I know? Lockwell hadn't moved anything or touched anything, he just stood there. "Fuck, I don't know.." I mumbled out loud to myself, my voice echoing faintly from our surroundings. We were already entering the hangar where our APUs were located, and Jonathan was giving me this odd look, thinking I was turning crazy judging by the look in his eyes. "You ok?" He asked, finally. I don't know what shocked me more, to be honest – the fact that he asked me a question, or that I had spaced out and said something without even knowing. "Hmh? Yeah." I replied quickly, almost without thinking, shrugging off what worries there were while putting up a fake – but convincing – smile. Jonathan's green eyes stared at me for a few more seconds, seconds that seemed like an eternity, before finally letting it slide. "Just don't get me killed out there, alright? If you do, I'll be coming back to drag you along with me." The man then added, his lips curving up into half a smile. I felt a chill crawl up my spine. "I'll see you in a few, then."


As Jonathan and I parted ways, heading towards our own APUs, I realized it would be only me and my APU now. Would he appear again? Would the smell of blood and death fill the cockpit the way it had back then? 'Only one way to find out, mate,' my mind told me, and I subconsciously nodded my head as a response. For every step I took, the metal beast approached me in the distance. For every step I took, the more I wanted to turn around. The logical part of my mind was now fighting the part that believed in ghosts, a part that seemed to grow for every thought I paid Lockwell. Ten metres left.. 'Relax, Ryder. Even if anything happens, you'll be too caught up in the action to even react to it.' Such a helpful thought. I sighed heavily, now standing beneath my APU, hand reaching for the handle. I pulled it, greeted by the soft sizzling sound of the cockpit opening up.